Goals for 2018

" ʻO ke kahua ma mua, ma hope ke Kūkulu"

(First comes the foundation before the building)

Have you ever woken up one morning and decided you were going to be something or someone? You just decided in a split second, maybe you thought you put time into thinking about it, but did you? I happen to have this very excruciating handicap of biting off more than I can chew. When I think about all the projects Iʻve started but never finished I can see the failures pile up and tower over me. A delicate teetering monolith threatening to collapse. As if one more tossed plan or half-ass project or rogue feather landing will topple it. And itʻs become apparent to me that the inevitable is exactly what needs to happen. I have been brutally trying to build skyscrapers out of band-aids and sand; it is a childʻs optimism that has fueled me to try everything I have done and a childʻs attention-span that has kept me failing, but it is also a childʻs resiliency which I will use to wipe this slate clean. Part of growing up is strengthening your roots and I have found my foundation, now it is time to place it.

When I was in elementary school, youʻd often find me between the shelves of the library reading away at the wonders of space and stars. Iʻd checkout as many books as I could in one go and take them home to read after paddling practices. It never occurred to me what Hokuleʻa represented or how I felt about it. It is clear to me now, that my life has always been meant for voyaging. Everything from my love for paddling, but not just the sport, the waʻa; to my love of the sky and the stars, but not just the stars, their directions. I want to be ready to enter into a new journey for the experiences to come and to be the person Iʻve always wanted.

This is me bulldozing the past of everything Iʻve wanted to do that has led me to what I really needed to do. 

• I am returning the materials Iʻve taken and I will begin to give back to create a better relationship with those around me.
• I am acknowledging my faults. I am taking accountability for what I have done and what I can control. I will humble myself to this journey I travel on.
• I will open myself up to possibilities and defog my eyes to the world. I will allow the tides to roll through me.
• I will listen before I speak.
• I am going to endure the reception of other peopleʻs reactions by letting go of my stubbornness and indifference as fronts to fear of rejection and conflict.

These goals will make me more vulnerable as a person. A vulnerability that will hurt me sometimes and bring age-old walls down but also opens me up to an entire world of interaction, opportunity, and most importantly growth.

I may fail, and I will fail again in my next project, but as long as I fail with these values intact it will be worth all the while. Because failure in the face of a new beginning is not a failure at all but the first step to success.

Here is to the New Year, may 2018 become the stable foundation we all strive for in our lives.